Step aside, statesmen. Make room for Teddy Drumstickz — the unofficial mascot of county fairs, Renaissance festivals, and political photo ops gone terribly right. Immortalized in a gaudy golden frame, Teddy clutches his turkey leg like it’s the Declaration of Indigestion.
This isn’t history. This is poultry in motion.
Material: 100% heavyweight cotton, light on policy, heavy on protein.
Fit: Loose, like Teddy’s grip on the napkin situation.
Occasions: Thanksgiving dinner flexing, ironic brunch, or anytime you want strangers to whisper, “Is that… Teddy Drumstickz?”
Vibe: Founding Father of Fair Food Nation.
