Ted Cruz Zodiac Hotline Bootleg Tee

Looking for funny political t-shirts, anti-Ted Cruz merch, or just something deeply unwell to wear to your next protest or awkward brunch? The Ted Cruz Zodiac Hotline Bootleg Tee has it all: an American flag, a serial killer conspiracy, a desperate cry for connection, and his real-ass office phone number printed in bold like it’s a Craigslist ad for emotional support.

This isn’t satire—it’s a design meltdown. A fever dream of fonts and delusion, slapped on a soft gray tee and daring you to wear it in public. And yes, the number is real. Will his office pick up? Who knows. But if you’re gonna leave a voicemail, you might as well do it in style.

Perfect for people who hate politicians, love chaos, and think graphic design should be a form of protest.

• 100% organic combed ring-spun cotton
• Fabric weight: 5.9 oz./yd.² (200 g/m²)
• Oversized fit
• Set-in sleeves
• Dropped shoulders
• 1 × 1 rib at collar
• Self-fabric neck tape on the inside of the back
• The fabric of this product is certified by GOTS (Global Organic Textile Standard)
• The fabric of this product is OEKO-TEX Standard 100 certified and PETA-Approved Vegan
• Blank product sourced from Bangladesh

Size guide